Everything is so epic really

Bigbang is having going to have their concert first time in Malaysia during their Alive Tour.

And I has no money nor time nor authorization nor transport.

*sobs*

I'll just have to wait for next time, whenever far away that reality may be. :/
I love them so freaking much and I'm going to love them more and more. That's a fact.

xxx

The dance competition is today, and as you can see, our participation is canceled. I bought all sorts of materials to make props and accessories just for the occasion, so they shall stay in the cabinets until crafting days come. Which is a year away. Oh well.

As disappointed as I may be, its gone. It wouldn't go well if we do participate anyways.

It's okay though, I guess, even if it may be the last chance of joining any sort of beginner-level dance competitions. Its not like I'd have the skill to compete yet either.

...

Okay I admit, I'm sad about it lol.

I bought a pretty jacket and finally got myself a hot glue gun(after years lol) during material shopping too, it does do some cure!

xxx

Also, the cancellation gave me time to end the craziness of two out of three huge project school works at once. The explanations of my absence online.

So so busy and tiring, and week without good sleep until the day before yesterday.

And there's still 100 fishies and 5+3 coloured canvas shoes and 8 full step by step process ilustrations to draw for the arts project. Due Monday.

*sobs again*

xxx

I lub being busy. It so frustrating its feels good.

xxx

I being chatting with friends at school about BJDs during Monday. And one lent me a cosplay tutorial book, with a whole chapter covering on BJDs on Wednesday. Can you believe it? The first time seeing something dolly related in real life lol.

To add on that, another friend lent me a copy of Another (anime) on the same day. Juicy horror anime, yums. To my surprise, there are dollies too!! No one could imagine how excited I was hahahahahaaaa

Overeactive oh yea.

But it couldn't be a coincidence that their opening song was sang by ALI PROJECT seriously? Because they sang for Rozen Maiden too ( FYI its an anime about BJDs too).

xxx

As a random note, something about me that people don't really know about me, and as hard as it is to admit,

I have an abnormal liking towards bunnies.

xxx

And its a seriously complete coincidence that some of my Starskull bunnies resembles B.A.P. mascots, the MATOKI or whatever you call them. Yes, its a simple design that may be done to death by anyone but I certainly did not copy. The Starskull bunny I designed during 2010.

The mascots are damn cute, of course ...Maybe make fan merchandise for them? Is it legal to do that?

xxx

...

Daesung's voice is so calming. I need more solos from him on infinite replay :'>

Tuition, Usual student life, Oppas, and Dollies

So i've signed up to two more tuition classes. Which means I have to stay at the tuition centre for three and a half hours straight every Saturday and Sunday. Great.

Well its not that bad actually. And with extra study reinforcements means less need to study during free time for me yaays

The first class today was Chemistry, and its quite amusing that the teacher calls every student her "darlings". Its quite a surprise to see so many friends I knew in that class, since I only knew one of my classmates attend it, and the other classes I took had not a single person familiar... I was happy that I can meet some of my classmates from primary school(who are also fellow ELFs ) but the fact that the subject and syllabus is confusing took part of the excitement away. And that fact that a class for additional math is scheduled right after that means no chance to chat up with them : /


On a side note, i seem to be more a VIP than an ELF lately, and Bigbang's playlist is on constant replay. As of current, BB posters on the wall outnumber Suju, phone and laptop wallpapers, profile pictures, avatars, fb cover photos are all Bigbangggg~

To my lovely RL ELF friends:
I'm waiting for suju's comeback with their sixth album too...I can't say I don't love SJ or BB so please dears please don't make me feel guilty TwT I love both groups and can't live without them both, voting for the other doesn't make me unloyal okay?

xxx


Anyways, for these few days I had this unreasonable craving to sculpt and create yet another BJD. Yes, I am totally aware that my first daughter is still unfinished and shelved but it takes more time and brain grilling to repair her than making a new doll IMO. Or at least for now.

Then as the crave grows the extra time and peace I have from staying at my cousin's house(they will be outstation for a few days) came to be invested in drawing plans for new doll designs and daydreaming about the production process. As of currently, I had two lines of dolls designed!! In a total of six dolls of varying body size. I'd like to show the plans but it should be kept as a business secret for now : D

I DO have the intent of selling dolls I made myself and I am serious when I say I dream to be a toy designer hahaha. To design collectibles and amusing toys for the mature population, or whatever they should be properly called (because we all know the term 'adult toys' sounds horribly wrong).

So during the three months of waiting for the finals results, I will bring these darlings to life, and hopefully to production.

Though the materials for BJDs are usually resin, I might opt for a cheaper, more affordable material (possibly vinyl) for them. Do my best to earn them a place higher than those bobble-headed Pullips and Blythes (no offense, they're lovable).And maybe make them into something like Gundam kits, to let people assemble them with their own hands and risk getting bootlegged .

There are even plans to sculpt heads resembling our handsome oppas. I have a list of those ulzzangs ready too.

But as for now I hadn't really any materials or money anyways so in the midst of desire there came this idea of making something for someone, and satisfying myself in the process, so I offered my manga class sensei a commission, to make him a personal customized OOAK BJD of one of his own characters ^^

On a discount so big that he'll just have to pay for clay since its primarily to settle my 'unease', to hone some skills in sculpting, and also to fulfill some other desires, like feeding my dA account a decent Deviation. It's some sort of kick start for my dolly empire too! Of course I'll do my best job at it.

Such nice for my brain to think of such a good idea which makes everyone happy. I am in unexplainable ecstasy now : >

...Okay maybe not my loving parents who notice I'm not studying hard enough.

I promise to study really hard everyday so not to jeopardize my studies, and for the sake of not feeling guilty while sculpting, and make it the recreation time I earned through being a hardworking student for the week!! Fighting!!

Oh and this: (warning, don't watch if you have a distaste for highly realistic dolls, or have not a stomach from the Uncanny Valley.)

Such a talented artist. Such a beautiful doll. Such great skills. Although his works creep me out at first, i'm loving them more and more now.

Baby I'm not a Monster

Oeiyyaaa new song from BigBang <3

Dae is getting more and more hawt.

Yes, just to update that. xD

Random Nonsensical Life Recording

Heyo.

As you've might noticed, I've been on an unnotified hiatus and again, sincere apologies, but I might still do that through the course of this year so you have to bear with it for a while :D I'll be a free person again at the end of the year, around mid-December.

As you can see, I've returned the blog to the previous template. Changed the font because it freaking resembles my handwriting and I love it love it love it.

I wanted to update this blog for so long now.
Today I came back for some more self-centered talk.

Starting from May, I've taken up tuition for the sake of the examinations. Extra classes. Seriously.
Yeah it's not big deal for most of the students but there has been no such thing as that in my life since stress and depression + laziness has kicked the whole lot of it down the drain when I was ten. I had a strong detest of classes outside school and it even spread to skipping extra-curricular activities.Thinking of all the crucially useful things I could learn (and not lose precious skills) and the socialization I could get from those classes make me regret it badly now. The regret grows worse as the classes now are far more than enjoyable. They are more or less the most exciting hours in the week : >

It helps by having no memory of the daily life during the course of primary schooling. I only remember portions of facts that are certain, and what people tell me. Well I SHOULD be happy about that, no?

Anyways, tuition are exam-savers. It saved me from failing every single subject tested. Damn, my studies are going down the stinking drain , down and down until this. I was an A student. I was. I need discipline very badly.

One other big problem is, I have been reduced to that state where constructing a single sentence in Chinese became a tough task. Writing a full-length essay near impossible. Believe it or not, the test on Chinese essay writing burned through my brain and left it dysfunctional and insane for a whole hour that day. Good thing it was the only paper for the day for my class, if not there'll be another addition on the long list of failed subjects.

We are currently having the two weeks worth of middle-year holidays, and half of it has gone dancing and eating instead of studying like crazy. Emphasizing on the eating. People must have no idea how much of food can one eat for a meal. I'm having double portions than usual and people want me to have more seconds. Aside from that all those junk I eat outside.  And I claim to be dieting despite filled to the throat with food. At this rate I'll get horridly chubby by next month. As of current, my dinner is eagerly waiting for a reappearance.

I noticed that members of my family have some problems understanding the meaning of 'keeping calm'. As much as I'd like to talk it all out here, its more of those family problems that shouldn't be addressed publicly. But since I can't really talk any sense into them without racking up another thunderstorm, I'll just keep those to myself and try talking to Coco instead. Who, by the way is my stuffed dog. She'll understand, yes.

Oh dears this is getting depressing. Food is too much to keep one happy now.

Whatever. Keep being happy anyways. I found that it vanquishes all those anger and releases other's tension on those stupid small matters. No matter what happens. Stay happy. Show that you are happy. It might make you look like a gay retard but I bet they'd rather see that idiot making others happy instead of splashing them with more kerosene.

It was a miracle today that my lovely mama gave me the freedom to roam the tiny local mall of few boredom today. It was a quest to search for accessories and clothing for the Disney My School Rocks competition with some of my fellow crew members, but before starting the adventure, we made a trip to the cinema and watched Bella and Thor (or the more official name "Snow White and the Huntsman"). It was interesting but so so predictable. The end of the show is like waking up from bed, so refreshing. Then we walked around and I bought some shoelaces and a chain. Those few strings it broke both my habit of obsessive window shopping, and budget. I can't has new shoes now *heartbreak teardrop* Then for more sugar intake with a cuppa of coke. And another pair of shiny shoelaces.

After that I thought of making a baseball bat as a dancing prop since the real thing is as rare as shit to get locally, so papa brought me to the hardware store to buy some actual bigger and harder materials that I don't often use. New things and a plan that certainly works and an excuse for crafting ! Feels refreshing :D

Oh and surprisingly he got us a new laptop and printer on Monday, giving me a two-week span of stress-less full days to use them. Now to work some art to earn a new tablet !

I can't express the joy and relax I'm experiencing from the sudden materialization of such costly items.

Aside from the fact that I woke up shit early today caused by the nightmares of primary schooling. I thought I successfully forgotten those, what the hell. I can still feel the tension of that behind my neck, making uneasy turns at the thought of morning. Ugh.

I bought a new sketchbook two weeks ago, but have yet drawn anything presentable. I have the need to complete  a piece very badly but I have no idea. Now what?

I notice that I have been buying a lot of things this month. Need saving up and hoard every cent from now on. Or I'll never get my pretty dollies.

There's another doll on my must-buy list now, Iplehouse SID Lee in RealSkin. Awfully sexy big doll <3 ha~

Been listening and downloading the whole load of BigBang songs too <3 And Block B's Nanrina ... the beats somehow expresses my excess rage perfectly.

Can't wait for BigBang's new song~ Monster ~
They have released teasers of all members except Daesung. Oooh that's really teasing =w=

^^^^ See all that stuff up there? yes that's how my mind works. It jumps randomly without flow and its annoying the hell out of the little writing aesthetics i have left, and I'm not excited about it :)

Random artsy post ^^

I've returned after a few days being in fits ^^ I never record my anger towards anything because sharing the discomfort to everyone and having it remind me every time seeing the post is  no good. so as you can see I got over it so here I am now xD

Some more sharpie inks on my skin here ~

 BIGBANG and NU'EST <3 

I can never get enough these xD

Swirls and swirls and more swirlsss

And lastly, a doodle of my little angel Ren during class <3

So effin cute omg haha

btw its the first time being able to cartoonify someone real successfully lol xD

Nothing much to post about really, haha.

Just being busy with school and dance practice and such lately : >

Yays.

The feeling of failure. ugh.

The arts and designs I've been creating for a variety of uses have been very disappointing to myself. Everyone else still thinks that the things I design are good, pretty and even awesome, but inside there's this conscience whispering repeatedly, " its sloppy, and the lazy ass artist could have done much better with a little more effort. it could have looked much better. it could have been much more awesome. you didn't do enough. you could have done more. you could have given a little more effort..."

It scares me that somewhere behind all their nice comments, there are a lot of complaints, big parts of the work needs to be corrected, but they should not try to demotivate their beloved friend by saying the work sucks. They have a good heart, they care a lot. But the repeated praises and the lack of critique... I need all the cursing and complaints on the work so much now... I wish they would just say whatever comes into their mind, whatever fault they see in the designs I stayed up nights for.

The praises are too much. The drawings need more work, more color, don't just accept it just because I am the only one responsible to make the design... Changing my designs one by one... they could have told me to make another design entirely, telling me that the original was crap, they will get a better artist for it, anything.  Just say it to my face. Just say it.

Ah. But the feelings. The politeness.

My designs for the shirts was piles of sloppy crap.

xxx

Although it was a week-long holidays it was jammed-pack with activities, especially our uniformed unit's year camp, a.k.a. the annual intense exercises lol. Three days straight of being part of the committee for camps took the hell out of my body. So so dead tired.

I've never tried to be hyper and happy for so many days at once. The forced laughs has become natural and  happiness and excitement can actually be felt, even if it was made from thin air. Being happy is all self talk, and it was merely a choice after all!

These two days were also the first times interacting with so many people within three hours. Maybe I can break away from my cold and quiet self? Being host of the base games during both the year camp and a big-scale combined camp was quite challenging xD The big camp was a failure though. The controlled hype today died out and the depression kicked in at the last hours, making me the only one missing out the huge group shot for the big camp, in the other room, listening to Big bang's songs and drizzle accompanied by blowing winds, basking in the the only atmosphere that feels like home---- solitude.

Because. The smiling faces of humiliated failing, is intolerable.

xxx

Tomorrow's the last Sunday available for sleeping in from now onwards. After all that mess of high, finally I get to spend the last day of my holiday tomorrow...

.... doing homework. Juuuust great.

60th post~ Talking about the start of my addiction~ beware of the long post~

Significant number you think? Well I've wasted my fiftieth post away so here's something special hahaa

Here I'mma talk about how i got into the fandom, and my tastes in kpop biases lol. I'll make out a list of who i like too.

Okay, so I got into the kpop fandom on April 23rd 2011. The reason why I remember is because it my uniformed unit at school decided to dance SHINee's Lucifer for the teacher's day performance. Because  my cousins were already Kpop addicts I had the idea of what the fandom was about, and heard about SHINee before. First reaction: "Shiny?? Why the hell would they give such a name to a boy group instead of a girl group? lololol "

After receiving the news I checked out the dance version right away. I like to dance too but haven't been dancing formally for around five years, so the dance version got me excited.

I didn't really like the kpop thing at first because thats about the only thing that my two favorite cousins talk about and watch the whole day online. To me, it looked more like a waste of time and internet usage, and I was more loyal towards my manga stuff and anime songs. I had heard and even tried to dance NU ABO two years back but the fandom didn't really attracted my attention.

One of my best friends was a Shawol with an obsession with Taemin (when she had her own computer at home the first time, there wasn't an internet connection yet and the only entertaining thing in her new laptop was a HD music video of Lucifer, so she actually ended up watching that ten times a day lol), and she won't stop talking about SHINess either. "Oh dears another kpop fan..." I thought. Not that its bad, but the fact that they won't stop talking about it was a tad bit annoying...

At my cousin's I was repeating the dance practice video of Lucifer for a few times to learn the dance, it turned out to be quite enjoyable than expected, and it was rather easy to keep up with the  cool dance, and the song was addicting too... then I noticed Taemin's super-cute smile...then I found myself admiring Jonghyun's shoulders instead dancing (and that was the main reason I checked out their member's profile too LOL) After finding more about the group, it was worth it to find Jonghyun such a hot eye-candy, so I stayed in the fandom LOLOL

Though I was watching only Jjong at first, my first true bias idol was KEY : D He was the first one I went crazy over. I even printed an A4-sized picture of him for the cover of my school file, so I can stare at him everyday xD I was never really obsessed about idols(or even real people, for that matter) and it was the first time I put anything aside from artwork as a cover !! Gaahhh

Then I proceeded to waste a majority of my ever-precious online time watching videos of them instead of learning useful stuff such as drawing, languages and crafting... well at least like that I have something to talk about with my cousin and friends :)

Then around mid July my main group shifted to Super Junior, along with the once-Shawol-friend, who now had Leeteuk as her phone wallpaper, screensaver, loading screen etc etc. Though I've watched the dance video of Sorry,Sorry around a million times the year before, again, it did not attract. The only thing I knew then was they were big in numbers. 13 members in one group was insane. After entering the fandom I only knew them as SHINee's sunbaes. Then I heard Bonamana.

The music video for that had lingered on the top of "recomended videos" on youtube, almost on every Shinee video I watch, but never had the thought of watching it. After hearing the song I decided give it a chance. Which hauled be further into the black hole of Kpop.

When I watched the mv for No Other, my thought was, " Wow these guys are alot hotter than SHINee." , never thought that it would be the first sign for a change of heart. Because they have an entirely different feel.

After watching a video on variety show segment, where they have to have a meal without laughing, even when having to use weird and unusable tools to eat. Eunhyuk couldn't hold his laugh everytime a tool was revealed, and got hit several times because of that, poor guy. But the infinite adorableness blasting out of his cute laughter made the world look as if it was made with peaches. Just by that video, he automatically became a full-time bias.


On a side note there was these guys i noticed when watching Suju dances, they have a special presence when dancing, but of course, I hadn't known who was who back then, thanks to the size of the group and the fact that I like seeing them dance more that looking at pictures. In Sorry,sorry, there was this guy in sunglasses, and gloves, in Bonamana, the smooth guy in goggles with a jacket around his waist, and the one with a fake scar on one eye with a trapper hat, in No Other, the cute guy with the sweet rap. These were the only ones that caught my attention.

It was after getting to know them more that I know they were all the same person-- the one who became my bias. Can you believe it?!?


The frenzy over Hyukkie lasted half a year, and became a little subtle just lately. Because. It's BIGBANG's COMEBACK.

I'm not sure when I started to love BB and 2ne1, but I know, from the first time I heard their songs, it was definite that they were made with pure epicness. I remember when Lies was a big hit back in 2007, it stuck in my head even though I just heard it once, and just knew it was a foreign language. Kpop was not even known around my area back then (when I even thought TVXQ was japanese, since they show up once in a while, and were the "normal" singers, not popular ones. What shock I had when finally knowing the size of their fanclub lol) .

The more I listen to BigBang's songs, the more I had to admit, they are true, pure talents. Every song they have to offer, are filled with nothing but overflowing awesomeness. No matter how much I say I love Super Junior, Bigbang is always at a slightly higher place. With 2ne1, their songs were the only ones that can heal my soul with a 100% rate of succession, and are the only songs that I can listen to, 24/7 all year round without getting sick. Really.

As of current, the main groups I listen to are:
BIGBANG -- oh all my heart and soul and all the awesomeness in my life
2NE1 -- my conscious TwT
Super Junior -- fanservice i can't live without lol gotta love them 
SHINee -- my first love ~
Epik High -- epicness. nuff said.
Infinite -- bunch of cute little dorks
S.M. The Ballad -- such amazing voices


Other not-so-main groups, just because I hadn't have the time to listen more, but I admire them lots:
T-ara -- haven't had the chance to hear more, they're so good xD
miss A
Wonder Girls -- their title songs are addictive xD
Brown Eyed Girls --adult idols hehehee
4minute~~
B2st
TVXQ&JYJ
KARA
SNSD -- they're pretty~ but for some reason i dislike them a bit

2pm, 2am

C.N. Blue
F.T. Island ( these two bands are awesome.. I regret not being able to make time for them : /)

I think I've listed pretty much all the recent significant groups in the kpop industy here lol



Some other groups that i like for some reason:
B1A4 -- they're somewhat weird lol
ZE:A -- ah, running balls of sunshine
U-kiss -- but their title songs feels redundant ...
After School -- not Orange Caramel though, they sometime creep the shit out of me lol
Girls day -- their fast paced cute choreography had incredible sync !!
Coed School --  How often you see mixed groups? their songs are cute heheh

Okay, now for my tastes lol
I like those who have overflowing adorableness, no dorks (though some dorkiness can be accepted), has a good heart and are not too loud. Appearance usually does not matter, since I don't seem to be attracted to those with "perfect faces" ( the only few exceptions being b1a4's Jinyoung and Ze:a's moonleader and Dongjun :B). If not they'll just have to be amusing (because everyone loves some daily Kim Heechul). The only bias allowed to be a super dork and make me lmao without sounding human is Daesung xD

Now for the list~ Ultimate Bias List as of 11Mar2012~ *insert twinkling sound effects*
1 Eunhyuk
2 Daesung
3 BigSpaceStar Kim Heechul
4 G-Dragon, T.O.P., Taeyang, Seungri (because they're just badass)
5 All 2NE1 members. Coolest unnies kyaaaaa
6 Leeteuk
7 Key
8 The rest of SuJu members (with exception of Shindong, and Zhoumi. they scare me for some reason)
9 The rest of SHINee members~ I still love them, yes.
10 Inpiniteu~!!

The list actually goes on and on but I'm tired now lol.

Gaah. Finally the first semester tests are gone with the wind! yaaaaay! *liar liar you liar there's still a last subject tomorrow* who the hell cares about civic test (which other country has such a test anyways) lalalaaa xDD

With the tests over and a week's holiday coming around, I can finally do some drawing and watch videos of Bigbang & 2ne1 in peace, how good is that! Maybe with the extra free time I can even do some bit of revision *lol you have no clue about what priority means, do you* Kyaaaa -after all that cramming for tests(you do mean books, instead of videos?) I really want the rest ~~~

I'm so super hyped today, watching an episode of Strong Heart with BB on it left me laughing hysterically for the rest of the day xDD Never expected that Daesung be such a master gagman xDD I haven't really felt like laughing for around a week now because of the tests but the latest episode of Running Man yesterday has put an end to all the miseries <3 No wonder my cousin is a loyal fan of it!!

Daesung is now officially my main bias xD (Sorry hyukkie~)

xxx

My school has reached it's fiftieth year in existence! Congratulations! But the reason I care so much is because they held a competition for designing the golden jubilee logo... where the 1st place winner gets 300 RINGGIES IN SOLID CASH!! There's even a hundred bucks for the third place!! ---right when I am getting money-crazy, which is good! As a *cough* skilled *cough* artist in school OF COURSE I'm entering!! 

The ending date was actually today but my lovely art teacher extended it xD Thankyouverymuchhhh  <3 she even showed me what the other contestants turned in!! They did a good job too but their work doesn't really look like logos to me : / more like posters xD

Worked my ass off for it today *nope, ass still intact.* . High wishes but no hopes lol

But it's good, right? 

Phoenix and a dragon for year of dragon muahaha~ there'll be additional printed font underneath it but it doesn't matter for now ^^

xxx

I need to do hardcore revision during the holidays now. Sitting through three hard subjects in one day really make you wish you can just jump off from a building right after that. It makes things easier that my exam seat is right at the front door of the classroom facing the balcony-corridor, three storeys from the cold fresh ground after a cool rainy day. Just the thought of that ignites the desire to try free-falling xD

xxx

I noticed that I have been avoiding people very much automatically these weeks. The friends I used to talk to don't seem to notice me for the while either. Not that I'm trying to be cold, because i yearn for any interaction with my classmates. Its so easy, yet there isn't any idea how to start talking to them... Being quiet (or ignorant) for a whole year despite being classmates, meeting everyday... its so awkward. My communication skills has been reduced to a tiny pile of basic vocabulary. Socially handicapped. I can change but I haven't. This is blatant self-torture. 

xxx

What are the basics of entertaining others, anyway?

Shall you help me find out?

*chases sad pigeons away*

There. Happy.
xxx

Now continue with Bigbang's epicness <3

Long, long days

These past few days has been very slow and filled. The long time since days like this, almost made me forget that they ever existed anymore...

Today was Art Test. Oh gawd. Painting was never an easy thing for me. What the piece turned out to be will make people think I must be color-blind lol ( color blind people might even color better =.=;;) It actually sucked the soul out of me too, but somehow after the test I feel like waking up from sleep xD

My friends invited me to play "Draw my Thing"  on facebook yesterday midnight. Things like this never really happened before and I had a good time! their undecipherable drawings were hilarious, accompanied by their random comments about everything lol

Bigbang on running man is finally broadcasted!! But I didn't even finish 10 minutes of the episode, didn't have time... there's still English, Additional maths and Physics tests tomorrow... Need to study, study and study more. As much as I want to write more there's no time...

My cousin just got married lately, and we were invited to their wedding, so there's a need to keep a record of the past few days^^ I'll do it by parts though, I can hardly keep my eyes open now...

3/3/12
Substitution school day to make up for the additional holidays during new year~ this week's is for a Friday, which means school ends early ^^

I woke up at 4.30 am in the morning just to make out time to get my hands on BigBang's full album, despite having little sleep with tests starting today~ I will go great length for them talented lovelies, and their music is worth it <3

Went around school hanging out with friends. Trying my best to get out of loneliness. Giving effort to that. Fighting!!

After school I hobo-ed around my aunt's house for the afternoon. Spent time surfing the net for more kpop heheh. I should be studying instead.

After that we all went to my cousin's wedding dinner!! Oh dears how pretty they are. A young perfect couple ^^ The seats we sat at were right between two huge-ass air conditioners. Frozen in front of the never ending dishes that come one after another. So damn tiring.

My brother got us a few heart-shaped helium balloons there too. Had a first try inhaling helium kekekeee the chipmonkey voice was hilarious xD

Got home exhausted. Then they said we are going to head out to the couple's new home for some traditional rituals. Great.

xx

Sorry but I'll post more about the wedding nest time, now for some sleep.

Alive

Taeyang by ~TherieKardie on deviantART

mind my destructive obsessive corrective disorder. i swear this is the final version xD

Woke up early (4.30 am xD) before school just to make time to listen every song from BigBang's new album... and oh heavens HOW THE HELL CAN THEY BE SO PERFECTT xDDDD Every song draws you in, eats you up and make you lose yourself in pure epicness!! Dayuuuuuum the whole album shall be at the top of my favourite songs list xD

I swear even if I will not spend much on kpop stuff I shall buy every BigBang album from now on. 

The reason that I'm so happy is that I had another sweet dream yesterday night~<3 Yes, its not the first time having such dreams but every one of them are different... I dreamt of confessing my feelings to Daesung and we became a couple heheheheee *blushes* other details shall be confidential LOL I'll just say that its by far the sweetest dream(and legal dream lol) compared to all the ones before xD

I admit, I do like how GD look like during his "heartbreaker" period, Hyukkie during "Mr.Simple" promotions and now loving Daesung a hell lot... maybe I get attracted more easily to bleached hair lol

So happeee~

Had a chance( or more like forced a chance) to draw some serious stuff today! yaaaaaaaaaay!

Guess who is it~?

TAEYANG!!

xDD

done in conjunction of their comeback hehheeeee

used a few hours in class today, and took another two hours to make corrections at home... damn my hands need to use some nitro orz

how it looked like before the correcting session, with the reference:

ewwwwwww

seeing it makes me cringe = =;;; I guess thats what you get when you draw too much of T.O.P..anyone else you draw will look more like him orz

it's been long since I've spent so long on drawing <3 the immense satisfaction from it is indescribable!! And the love for BIGBANG!! and their major comeback kyaaaaaaaaaa is this even the real world now al;dfjlwkegjwofslkdfv

doesn't really help that test are in a few days though. might be stopping from free drawing until the end of the year for studies *cries rivers* oh gawd  the last year of school is so stressful...

Two of the shirts I've designed for the clubs/camps at school are going to be made! So excited about it xDD will certainly post them when i get my smudgey hands on them hehehehee

Statements.

Today, was a day I couldn't really describe. I feel so happy, excited, but horrible at the same time. Still feeling as tired as if staying up all night despite having more sleep than usual. The walls and shields I usually put up against every other people in this world somehow disappeared. The thoughts that were never brought up nor told to anyone else, are now shouted directly at others, without any worries of the consequences nor outcome, without even holding back. Something I always wished to do, expressing without doubt nor guilt. It must be the inertia of insanity accompanied by lingering tiredness.

The frustrations caused by my sloth and indecisive state... that haunted me for so long has finally hauled me down the drain. What  I will become of in the future any more? everything seems so easy yet hard at the same time. How do people go through all that? I do know, just so confused. Just like knowing all the directions, but not where to head for. 

The song that BigBang brought out today is beyond beautiful. Listening to it brought me to tears on this frustrating day. 

No matter how much other groups can impress, BigBang is the only one that I can make me live and heal from wounds and sadness with their music. 

Their songs can reach people's souls. That's why.

I just want to cry everything out in a corner of a dark room, with this song on repeat.