As you've might noticed, I've been on an unnotified hiatus and again, sincere apologies, but I might still do that through the course of this year so you have to bear with it for a while :D I'll be a free person again at the end of the year, around mid-December.
As you can see, I've returned the blog to the previous template. Changed the font because it freaking resembles my handwriting and I love it love it love it.
I wanted to update this blog for so long now.
Today I came back for some more self-centered talk.
Starting from May, I've taken up tuition for the sake of the examinations. Extra classes. Seriously.
Yeah it's not big deal for most of the students but there has been no such thing as that in my life since stress and depression + laziness has kicked the whole lot of it down the drain when I was ten. I had a strong detest of classes outside school and it even spread to skipping extra-curricular activities.Thinking of all the crucially useful things I could learn (and not lose precious skills) and the socialization I could get from those classes make me regret it badly now. The regret grows worse as the classes now are far more than enjoyable. They are more or less the most exciting hours in the week : >
It helps by having no memory of the daily life during the course of primary schooling. I only remember portions of facts that are certain, and what people tell me. Well I SHOULD be happy about that, no?
Anyways, tuition are exam-savers. It saved me from failing every single subject tested. Damn, my studies are going down the stinking drain , down and down until this. I was an A student. I was. I need discipline very badly.
One other big problem is, I have been reduced to that state where constructing a single sentence in Chinese became a tough task. Writing a full-length essay near impossible. Believe it or not, the test on Chinese essay writing burned through my brain and left it dysfunctional and insane for a whole hour that day. Good thing it was the only paper for the day for my class, if not there'll be another addition on the long list of failed subjects.
We are currently having the two weeks worth of middle-year holidays, and half of it has gone dancing and eating instead of studying like crazy. Emphasizing on the eating. People must have no idea how much of food can one eat for a meal. I'm having double portions than usual and people want me to have more seconds. Aside from that all those junk I eat outside. And I claim to be dieting despite filled to the throat with food. At this rate I'll get horridly chubby by next month. As of current, my dinner is eagerly waiting for a reappearance.
I noticed that members of my family have some problems understanding the meaning of 'keeping calm'. As much as I'd like to talk it all out here, its more of those family problems that shouldn't be addressed publicly. But since I can't really talk any sense into them without racking up another thunderstorm, I'll just keep those to myself and try talking to Coco instead. Who, by the way is my stuffed dog. She'll understand, yes.
Oh dears this is getting depressing. Food is too much to keep one happy now.
Whatever. Keep being happy anyways. I found that it vanquishes all those anger and releases other's tension on those stupid small matters. No matter what happens. Stay happy. Show that you are happy. It might make you look like a gay retard but I bet they'd rather see that idiot making others happy instead of splashing them with more kerosene.
It was a miracle today that my lovely mama gave me the freedom to roam the tiny local mall of few boredom today. It was a quest to search for accessories and clothing for the Disney My School Rocks competition with some of my fellow crew members, but before starting the adventure, we made a trip to the cinema and watched Bella and Thor (or the more official name "Snow White and the Huntsman"). It was interesting but so so predictable. The end of the show is like waking up from bed, so refreshing. Then we walked around and I bought some shoelaces and a chain. Those few strings it broke both my habit of obsessive window shopping, and budget. I can't has new shoes now *heartbreak teardrop* Then for more sugar intake with a cuppa of coke. And another pair of shiny shoelaces.
After that I thought of making a baseball bat as a dancing prop since the real thing is as rare as shit to get locally, so papa brought me to the hardware store to buy some actual bigger and harder materials that I don't often use. New things and a plan that certainly works and an excuse for crafting ! Feels refreshing :D
Oh and surprisingly he got us a new laptop and printer on Monday, giving me a two-week span of stress-less full days to use them. Now to work some art to earn a new tablet !
I can't express the joy and relax I'm experiencing from the sudden materialization of such costly items.
Aside from the fact that I woke up shit early today caused by the nightmares of primary schooling. I thought I successfully forgotten those, what the hell. I can still feel the tension of that behind my neck, making uneasy turns at the thought of morning. Ugh.
I bought a new sketchbook two weeks ago, but have yet drawn anything presentable. I have the need to complete a piece very badly but I have no idea. Now what?
I notice that I have been buying a lot of things this month. Need saving up and hoard every cent from now on. Or I'll never get my pretty dollies.
There's another doll on my must-buy list now, Iplehouse SID Lee in RealSkin. Awfully sexy big doll <3 ha~
Been listening and downloading the whole load of BigBang songs too <3 And Block B's Nanrina ... the beats somehow expresses my excess rage perfectly.
Can't wait for BigBang's new song~ Monster ~
They have released teasers of all members except Daesung. Oooh that's really teasing =w=
^^^^ See all that stuff up there? yes that's how my mind works. It jumps randomly without flow and its annoying the hell out of the little writing aesthetics i have left, and I'm not excited about it :)
