...

I claim not to understand a lot of things, but my subconscious can explain every single subject without missing detail. Some times my conscious can do that too, but with tremendous doubt. Oh what a failure.

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There are a lot of people that I find highly admirable. To a weird extent maybe? It must be my subconscious again, not wanting life to be miserable, it will be much more easier to live when you like much about everything.

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Social wise, I'm much of the one at the receiving end of entertainment. That actually explains a lot. Greed, lust, sloth, pride, fear... It needs effort to be in the middle of attention. Or maybe I'm just not good with words.

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I love attention, but scared of the responsibility, and the consequences that comes with it. The power of influence towards others...

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I try hard to have an excuse for everything. I don't want to be wrong so that would cushion me when I am. Does irresponsibility thrives in fear? If then I'm such a coward.

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Its so hard to focus in anything lately. The only things I can focus on are listening to BigBang's songs, watching SuJu... and drawing, the lasting love of my life <3

But my life is much a of a mess.

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Stepping into my teens, I've got to take control, take responsibility, grow up, grow thicker skin, meet a lot of people, go a lot of places, learn things, build skills... instead of keeping myself in and dwelling in fear and , doubt, and mistakes. That's right. I can't do that.

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Also, I sleep too much. 

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What does the future have in store for me?

No.

What have I in mind of my future?

Its mine. I have to grasp it tightly.

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Damn, losing focus again.

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...

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Why do you fear everything? Get bruised, lady!!! (or maybe a scar would work better.)

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